I’m not scared to die, I’m a little bit scared of what comes after

Death.

is a funny thing.
it seems so easy,
but is it?

I guess there's only one way to find out...

If only the atheist had it right...
Once you die...
That's it...

But no.

I'd be lying if I said I've never considered suicide.
Hell, I'd be lying if I said I've never been within 5 minutes of making it reality.

You hear people talk about how they were on the verge of suicide, until they thought of all the good times they've had, and all the life they have left to live, etc.

But for me?
It's different.

My thinking has always been, why kill myself now, when for all I know eternity could be just as bad if not worse??

Bring me the horizon put it well in "The Comedown"

I'D RATHER LIVE, THAN LIVE FOREVER

I found some old songs I wrote...

LOVE ME WITH A SONG

I tried to write a song
To tell you how I feel tonight
But I couldn't seem to find the perfect words
'Cas all the best songs
Are someone else's lullaby
A melody that's already been heard

I'm to late
I'm tongue tied
I'm at a loss
For words tonight
You left me
Paralyzed
But I know

You can't make someone love you with a song
But if you could would you sing along?

I tried to write a song
A perfect collage of melodies
To somehow blend the feign into the real
'Cas all the best songs
Elaborate with similes
To better describe the way we truely feel

I'm to late
I'm tongue tied
I'm at a loss
For words tonight
You left me
Paralyzed
But I know

You can't make someone love you with a song
But if you could would you sing along?

This is my anthem
To all that I am
Can we start it again?
Because I can't stand
To see you with him
Can we start it again?

Because I'm to late
I'm tounge tied
I'm at a loss for words
You left me
So paralyzed
And i don't think I'm heard

You can't make someone love you with a song


-------------------------------------

(UNTITLED)

Summer breeze and sweet goodbyes
And there's no sense in telling lies
When you leave the ones you love entwined
With all the things you claim to hate
That've now become your deepest fate
And there's no sense in playing games
Again

And I'd
Give you the world
If it were mine to give
And I'd
Sing you this song
If it'd been written for you

Tell me when and tell me why
As you smile back 10 feet wide
And I gaze into your deep brown eyes
And all of a sudden I'm just fine
Can we relive this, another time
I'll spin you around and we'll confine
Again

And I'd
Give you the world
If it were mine to give
But I'll
Sing you this song
'Cas it was written for you

Tell me why
Does it hurt to say goodbye?
I died a little tonight
When I saw that look in your eye

all songs copyrighted to ryan masiakiewicz 2008. All rights reserved

I wish...

...I had been stronger
I wish I had gone with my original gut feeling
...instead of my heart.
I wish I hadn't gone over
That I hadn't picked up
That I didn't kiss back
That I didn't fall in love...

I wish that I could take it back...
Or do I?

I wish that when I got the message from your mom...
...well I wish i had handeled it better.

I wish I didn't have these addictions.

I wish that I had more perscriptions.

I wish they didn't make me so happy.

I wish you didn't make me so happy.

I wish I made you happier.

...that you felt the same way.